i can be so wrong abt so many things in my life.
today, i found another one.
for the longest time, she was my best.
for the longest time, she was my only.
and for the longest time, she was the one i relied on.
i never thought anyone cld take her place.
i sincerely felt grateful for her presence, and how she seemed to support me all the way no matter what.
and when things go bad, i always thought to myself, well, you've got her and she will get your back.
even when i had the canneries, i always thought, she comes first.
i wld gladly push anything and everything away w the canneries to be with her if she asked.
despite the few times where i was hurt that she had seemed to forget abt me, or that i didn't matter as much to her as she was to me, i actually convinced myself i was the one who's being over-sensitive and insecure.
now it just didn't matter.
to be absolutely honest, i was really sad to see those pictures.
and i thought of the lil things she might have said to them when i wasn't ard,
like how she told me abt his lil things.
it may be a joke to them or her, but it's as private as it can be to me.
but now, i think i am over it.
cause now, at the very least, i am starting to earn my own keeps.
i may not have the best family, but tt's not gg to bring me down.
i know alot out there who heard are starting to think
"it's not that serious." "she's being damn childish over smth so small."the fact is they are not me, and the fact is they didn't go through what i did since i was borned.
i had been very optimistic abt everything cause i hate being serious and bringing everyone's mood down over my own sad story, which i think to myself, it's actually not that sad.
i made jokes outta everything i said abt my family even though sometimes i may not mean it.
i appearred nonchalant and can't be bothered but she had no idea how much this whole thing troubled me.
it will no longer hurt me as much anymore.
it will take some time, yes, but i am sure not before long, i'll be completely over it.
it's hard to find a someone whom you can call your best.
i'm not sad that i've kinda lost mine, cause somehow i managed to see who's the one who had always been there.
i know who are they now.
though there are only a handful.
i hope i am not wrong abt it again.
and i swear to god, one day i will shake all these off.i swear.